Irukandji

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Friday's!

This week STCKYF features one of my favorite deadly animals, the Irukandji Jellyfish (pronounced IRR-ə-KAN-jee).

Native to Australia and relative of the infamous box jellyfish, the Irukandji is one of the most venomous jellyfish in the world. The irukandji not only has stingers on its four (relatively) long tentacles, it also has stingers covering its bell. This means that no matter where you contact this jelly, it WILL sting you. The Irukandji's venom is 100 times more potent than a cobra's. When you are stung, you suffer from "Irukandji syndrome", a term coined by the Irukandji people native to an area north of Queensland. The syndrome is characterized by "excruciating muscle cramps in the extremities, severe pain behind the kidneys, burning skin, nausea, vomiting, increased heart rate, high blood pressure, brain hemorrhages and psychological phenomena such as the feeling of impending doom". THE FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM! HOLY SHIT. That might be the scariest venom symptom I have ever read. These effects can last for weeks. Think about that, feeling psychologically doomed for weeks while lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a morphine drip along with a plethora of other drugs. That's some super scary stuff.

The Irukandji packs an impressive punch for such a little guy. An adult Irukandji is only about one cubic centimeter in size (same size as a standard six-sided die). Because they are so small, they can pass through jellyfish nets that protect beach goers from box jellyfish at especially high-risk areas. They can even sting through protective suits designed to protect divers from box jellyfish. There is no escape from these miniature murderers. 

If you swim off the Australian coast, you will get stung by an Irukandji, and you will die. Plain and simple. You won't go quickly either. These sadistic monsters want you to suffer excruciating pain before you die. Well, they would want you to suffer if they had brains, but they don't. 

Stay safe out there.

-- 

Charles R Mercer

Amateur Zoologist

Africanized Honey Bee

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Friday's!

Today we have the Africanized Honey Bee, A.K.A. the killer bee.

They were first brought to Brazil from Africa by some moron biologist who thought they would help increase honey production. Why did he think they would help increase honey production? BECAUSE HE BREAD THEM. This idiot created a monster species and then probably said "what could possibly go wrong?". They are better, stronger, and faster than the average bee (like the million dollar man, but, you know, a bee). And as they toiled making honey they realized that honey production would never fulfill their lust for murder! (probably). To be fair, they probably did help with honey production... but they also escaped! As Warwick Kerr, the foolish biologist in question, should have known, it is really hard to keep things that can fly to stay in one place. Within 35 years they reached Texas, leaving a trail of mutilated corpses in their wake.

What makes these bees so deadly is their aggressive defensive instinct. They set up a larger defensive perimeter around the hive than other species of bee and also use more guard bees who are just itching to ruin your day. When they attack, they swarm. Africanized bees have been known to chase their victims for miles.. MILES! Got that? There is no escaping these little monsters.

Their venom causes inflammation, dizziness, headaches, weakness, edema, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, respiratory distress and renal failure. It also causes an increased heart rate, as if that doesn't just happen when your attacked by bees, which spreads the venom around your body even more rapidly. Remember, these bees swarm, so multiply these effects by 1000. Guaranteed bad day, possible chance of death.

These bees are responsible for the deaths of a few people every year, but that's not counting the number of people hospitalized, blinded, or even crippled by them (I don't know if those last two have ever happened). Other things on their kill list? Horses! An animal that is way bigger than a human but just as easily stung to death. Yikes.

Moral of the story, don't create blood thirsty killers in a lab thinking they will be satisfied with agriculture. Killers kill, simple as that.

Stay safe out there, Scott.

-- 

Charles R Mercer

Amateur Zoologist

Selfies

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Friday's!

This week.... Selfies!

I know what you might be thinking, "Charles, that's not an animal. Don't you have to do an animal?". You're correct, it is not an animal, but I make the rules here. And guess what! Selfies KILL people!

In 2015 more people died from taking selfies than were killed by sharks. But how can this be possible? Well, it makes perfect sense when you remember that young people are dumb. Really, really dumb. The things people do for profile pics or their next Instagram post. Standing wild animal adjacent, sitting on the edge of a cliff, even standing on train tracks with an incoming train in the back ground. Yikes.

You want some selfie death stats? Here you go. Since 2014, 49 people have died while taking a selfie. Of those 49, their average age was 21 and they were male. Surprising, i know, I too thought that most of them would be girls because girls are 87% more likely to take a selfie. I guess they're just better at it.

According to a study done at THE Ohio State University, men with strong selfie game score higher on the narcissistic and psychopathic scales meaning they are more likely to embrace danger for personal gains (Instagram likes). I'd just like to emphasize the danger to you and I. Young dudes in their 20's who rank on the "I love myself" scale. Check.

While doing the most Russian thing I may have ever read, two men were blown up while taking a selfie with a live hand grenade. See what I mean? It's just guys being dudes going too far for social media attention.

How dangerous are selfies? Apparently dangerous enough for India to declare "no selfie zones" where they warn people of the dangers of taking selfies in particular areas. These zones even have lifeguards.... LIFEGUARDS! People get paid to tell you not to take a selfie. Like paid with real money. Just wow. I like to think that these lifeguards get asked to take thousands of pictures for people. How have selfies become such a danger to our youth? It's all about attention. Kids these days crave social media attention like Jules craves tennis balls. Oh the things people do to get that perfect shot.

For your safety, please print and post the below image everywhere you can to warn people of the potential dangers of selfies. The image comes from a Russian selfie safety website. Thanks Putin!

Stay safe out there.

-- 

Charles R Mercer

Amateur Photographer

Pufferfish

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Friday's!

Today, we look at tetraodontidae, more commonly known as the pufferfish, blowfish, bubblefish, swellfish, and to his friends, Kenny.

Most of the species of this fish are toxic and some rank at the top of the list of the most poisonous vertebrates in the world. They don't even have to sting or inject toxin into you, their skin contains tetrodotoxin which is highly toxic when ingested. But that doesn't stop those crazy Japanese from eating them, apparently, it’s a delicacy. If prepared wrong, the victim has the worst case of literal food poisoning. The worst of the toxin's affects is muscle paralysis. This means that a very important muscle, the diaphragm, cannot do its thing so the victim can't breathe. Yikes. (Note: breathing is important.)

Eating these little guys is not limited to Japan. Other far eastern countries eat them too. AND FLORIDA. That's right. Florida. Those inbred fools will eat anything. They might as well play Russian roulette with a hand grenade. I sometimes think America has evolved past certain levels of stupid, but Florida is always there to prove me wrong. It just has to be prepared wrong once, just one time, and you die.

The Japanese name for the pufferfish is fugu. An important thing to watch out for on the menu at a sushi place in Florida, or anywhere for that matter. You know what, just don't eat sushi in Florida. Not worth the risk. Do you really want to put your life in the hands of a Floridian? Me neither.

Stay safe out there.

-- 

Charles R Mercer

Amateur Zoologist