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Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Fridays!
This week STCKYF features the Blue-ringed Octopus.
WE'RE BACK BABY! After a lengthy leave of absence from these electronic pages, I have decided to revive STCKYF because YOU need me to. I've heard your many complaints and received your sad dejected letters. Your Fridays have been dull and without whimsy of any kind. Your heads have not been filled with random facts that may one day be useful in a game of trivia, if ever at all. And be honest, Phil. You missed me and my no good English. Well, be sad no more! I'm back. We're back. Let's do this.
Our return installment of STCKYF takes us back to the spiritual home of this blog, Australia. Well, actually the Australian ocean. Well, actually the Pacific and Indian oceans between Japan and Australia. Close Enough. Making its home in tide pools and coral reefs in the aforementioned oceans, the Blue-ringed Octopus is known as one of the most venomous marine animals in the world. The Blue-ringed octopus is aptly named for the blue and black rings that cover its body. Not a very creative name, but where does subtlety get you? When threatened, they become bright yellow in color and the blue rings begin to flash. This is done to deter predators while the octopus escapes. You may think that making yourself more noticeable would be a bad defense, but when you carry as potent of a toxin as the Blue-ringed Octopus, you want everyone to know who you are.
The toxin carried by the Blue-ringed Octopus, tetrodotoxin, is the same toxin that makes Pufferfish and the California Newt, (previous STCKYF topics) both of which are creatures not to be trifled with. This 5-8 inch Octopus carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes. How can it wreak so much havoc? Well, tetrodotoxin is 1,200 times more toxic than cyanide. The toxin is found in every organ and gland in its little body, including its heart (it's cold, black, evil heart). Mothers will even inject the toxin into their eggs so that the unhatched babies begin to produce their own toxin. The bite from a Blue-ringed Octopus is small and painless leaving the only indication for the victim that they have been bitten to be the respiratory paralysis that soon sets in. (Note: this means you can't breath). Once the paralysis sets in, without medical aid, you only have a few minutes left to live before you're pushing up the daisies.
As of 2018, no anti-venom is available. But don't fret, there is still hope (because its 2019 now, so who knows!). The venom's main effect is muscular paralysis which includes important muscles like the diaphragm (used for breathing) and the heart (used for loving). CPR is an effective tool for keeping victims alive until they can be taken to the hospital where they can be hooked up to a ventilator while the toxin is removed. Just remember to do chest compressions to the tune of Staying Alive. What's that, Phil? You don't know the song? Ok, for all my millennial readers out there, try doing chest compressions to the tune of Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers. Happy? Normally, I would just tell you to go by a Bee Gees album and learn the song, but LIVES ARE AT STAKE.
The Blue-ringed Octopus' reputation for death has gained it some notoriety. In the James Bond film Octopussy, the Blue-ringed Octopus is a symbol of the secret order of female bandits and smugglers. More recently, the Blue-ringed Octopus went #viral on TikTok in a video of a tourist picking one up (kids, do NOT try this at home).
My advise is, as always, stay away from Australia.
Stay safe out there.
Charles R Mercer
Amateur Writer
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