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Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Fridays!
Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Fridays!
This week STCKYF features the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper.
On these digital pages we have covered snakes and spiders in the past, albeit separately. Each can be incredibly dangerous in their own right. Today, I must inform you that Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke on us all and combine these two maniacal creatures into one. Well, kinda. Though its named the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper, its tail is not actually a spider. The tip of the tail has long drooping scales giving it the appearance of a spider to lure in prey. Sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for a snake-spider sort of cat-dog situation. Even if the spider part isn't real, these real life Pokemon are not to be taken lightly.
Native to western Iran, the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper is just one more reason to not venture into the middle east. You know, besides a war, desert climate, ISIS, scorpions, and falafel. The Spider-Tailed Horned Viper is a perfect hunter. Its coloring blends in perfectly with the gypsum and limestone rocks of the region. Their camouflage is so good, it was difficult to find a picture of the snake where it could easily be seen. While perfectly camouflaged with the surrounding rock, the viper moves the tip of its tail back and forth mimicking a spider's movements. Yes, its incredibly creepy. For those of you who want to see for yourself, I've included a video below. But finish reading first, I workedhard on this.
Science says that luring is a very sophisticated form of hunting. Rather than ambushing or stalking prey, luring draws the prey in close within the predators strike range. Once a bird that was foolish enough to think its going to make a tasty snake out of a spider realizes that the spider is fake, its already too late. The Viper strikes with lightning fast speed. After a few moments of adrenaline fueled struggle, the prey succumbs to the venom. If you ask me, luring seems pretty lazy. This viper is like the college professor of the snake world. You know what I mean. Sure, the professor gets paid to ponder big ideas and sophisticated philosophies, but does that mean he's better than you? After all, you earn a respectable living, working hard at your blue-collar job to put food on the table for your family. I'm sure the blue-collar snakes of the world who catch their prey the old fashioned way are pretty tired of hearing about how revolutionary these cosmopolitan vipers are with their "luring" tactics.
I must admit, researching this week's topic was harder than usual (meaning Wikipedia was not very helpful). Apparently the entire internet only cares about how creepy these things are and not about facts. Every search result on google was just using the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper as bait for, well, click bait. If you are familiar with this blog, you know that I try to be completely factual, which is part of the reason we don't use any science. Normally, I would tell you about the toxins that make up the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper's venom and why its nothing you want to tangle with. Unfortunately, the internet does not think that this is information worth sharing. What's next, Internet?! Are you going to suggest I look it up in a book?! Unbelievable. The audacity of this whole situation has led to the adoption of STCKYF's new slogan, "My Facts Don't Care About Your Science", because once again, Science has let us all down.
Though I cannot tell you for certain that the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper can kill you, the stomach churning creepiness of running into one of these bad boys in the wild just might. Also, its a viper... so, you know, it probably can.
Stay safe out there.
On these digital pages we have covered snakes and spiders in the past, albeit separately. Each can be incredibly dangerous in their own right. Today, I must inform you that Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke on us all and combine these two maniacal creatures into one. Well, kinda. Though its named the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper, its tail is not actually a spider. The tip of the tail has long drooping scales giving it the appearance of a spider to lure in prey. Sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for a snake-spider sort of cat-dog situation. Even if the spider part isn't real, these real life Pokemon are not to be taken lightly.
Native to western Iran, the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper is just one more reason to not venture into the middle east. You know, besides a war, desert climate, ISIS, scorpions, and falafel. The Spider-Tailed Horned Viper is a perfect hunter. Its coloring blends in perfectly with the gypsum and limestone rocks of the region. Their camouflage is so good, it was difficult to find a picture of the snake where it could easily be seen. While perfectly camouflaged with the surrounding rock, the viper moves the tip of its tail back and forth mimicking a spider's movements. Yes, its incredibly creepy. For those of you who want to see for yourself, I've included a video below. But finish reading first, I worked
Science says that luring is a very sophisticated form of hunting. Rather than ambushing or stalking prey, luring draws the prey in close within the predators strike range. Once a bird that was foolish enough to think its going to make a tasty snake out of a spider realizes that the spider is fake, its already too late. The Viper strikes with lightning fast speed. After a few moments of adrenaline fueled struggle, the prey succumbs to the venom. If you ask me, luring seems pretty lazy. This viper is like the college professor of the snake world. You know what I mean. Sure, the professor gets paid to ponder big ideas and sophisticated philosophies, but does that mean he's better than you? After all, you earn a respectable living, working hard at your blue-collar job to put food on the table for your family. I'm sure the blue-collar snakes of the world who catch their prey the old fashioned way are pretty tired of hearing about how revolutionary these cosmopolitan vipers are with their "luring" tactics.
I must admit, researching this week's topic was harder than usual (meaning Wikipedia was not very helpful). Apparently the entire internet only cares about how creepy these things are and not about facts. Every search result on google was just using the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper as bait for, well, click bait. If you are familiar with this blog, you know that I try to be completely factual, which is part of the reason we don't use any science. Normally, I would tell you about the toxins that make up the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper's venom and why its nothing you want to tangle with. Unfortunately, the internet does not think that this is information worth sharing. What's next, Internet?! Are you going to suggest I look it up in a book?! Unbelievable. The audacity of this whole situation has led to the adoption of STCKYF's new slogan, "My Facts Don't Care About Your Science", because once again, Science has let us all down.
Though I cannot tell you for certain that the Spider-Tailed Horned Viper can kill you, the stomach churning creepiness of running into one of these bad boys in the wild just might. Also, its a viper... so, you know, it probably can.
Stay safe out there.
--
Charles R Mercer
Amateur Herpetologist
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