Giant Anteater

Do you still mail things though, well, the mail? You know you'll need some stamps for that. What's a stamp? You don't know cause your a millennial. That's why you need help from my friends at Stamps.com who will send stamps directly to your door when you sign up for a monthly subscription. Stamps.com, where you can ironically buy snail mail stamps on the Internet.

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Fridays!
This week STCKYF features the Giant Anteater.

Never thought you'd read that animal's name on here, did you? To be honest, I was shocked to come across it while deciding on this weeks topic. But it caught my eye because, well, for starters who ever thought an Anteater could be dangerous. It also grabbed my attention because it's also known as the Ant Bear, which is 1000x cooler than Giant Anteater. So how giant is a Giant Anteater? They average about 6.5 feet in length and weigh about 90 lbs. Native to Central and South America, the Giant Anteater is a solitary creature that spends its days foraging for food.

Anteaters are not aggressive. All they want to do is hang around ant hills and termite mounts and get their snack on, And who can blame them? We all love a good snack every now and then. Plus anteaters are being health conscious because insects are packed with tons of protein and very little fat. However, if they are cornered, they come out swinging like Patrick Swayze in Road House. An anteater that feels threatened will rear up on its hind legs and swing wildly with their claws. This pose is known as the "anteater's hug" because it looks like it wants to hug you. It Doesn't. Their massive claws are 4 inches long and can do some real damage. One swipe of their razor sharp claws can leave huge gashes in whatever felt confident enough to tangle with a Giant Anteater.

So what does the Giant Anteater have to fight in the wild? Jaguars and pumas love to eat anteaters but are easily fought off if they don't kill the Giant Anteater before it can fight back. This is a showdown I would love to see. Giant Anteater vs. Jaguar. The fact that the jaguar wouldn't dominate the anteater makes me laugh just to think about it. What else do Giant Anteaters kill? You guessed it, people. There are many recorded instances of Giant Anteaters killing hunters in Brazil. After reading several of the reports I can tell you exactly what to do if you ever find yourself in the presence of a Giant Anteater while hunting. Shoot it, like, immediately. Lots of people don't do that because the Giant Anteater is classified as Vulnerable by the International Union for Conservation of nature. My guess is people don't shoot them out of fear of legal repercussions or maybe they just don't know how dangerous they are. But you definitely don't want to be the guy who was killed by an anteater, do you?

Stay safe out there.

-- 

Charles R Mercer

Amateur Zoologist