Assassin Bug

Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You Friday's!

This week STCKYF features the Assassin bug.

There are over 6600 species of assassin bugs that live all across the globe except for Antarctica and Australia. I know, I know, I know. How can a deadly animal NOT live in Australia? My guess is that in reality they DO live there, they've just killed everyone who has ever seen one (you'll see how preposterous this theory is once you read a little further). They tend to feed on other insects like cockroaches, bedbugs, ants, millipedes, etc. Not a big deal (literally). It's kind of nice actually, they kill pests so we don't have to. They kill by injecting their prey with a lethal saliva that liquefies their insides. (Note: it is extremely challenging to survive when your insides are liquefied). Then the Assassin eats its fill and moves on. Insects get eaten, people don't... a happy ending, right?

WRONG! The Assassin bug (which has ass in its name twice, so you know its a real jerk) can kill people. Species that are native to only Central and South America have earned the nickname "the kissing bug" because they like to bite people in the soft tissue around the mouth. The bite itself isn't inherently dangerous unless the bug is carrying trypanosomal Chagas disease. What's that? You've never heard of this disease? To be honest, neither had I. Let me fix that for the both of us...

After the initial bite, the person will have a mild fever, swollen lymph nodes, headaches and swelling where they were bitten. After 8-12 weeks patients enter the chronic stage where their nervous system, digestive system and heart are affected. These issues will get worse and worse over the course of, on average, 10 to 30 years. That's right these sneaky killers (sneaky like Pearl harbor) want to kill you slowly. Very, very, very slowly. Basically, the cells of whatever tissue is affected by the bite are killed and the loss of cells will destroy your health over time.

With the help of medication, you can try and stall the grim reaper. But, once you have been bitten, you're pretty much marked for life. Man, this has been a really cheerful edition of STCKYF, but hey, it beats being mauled by a grizzly bear.

Stay safe out there.

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Charles R Mercer

Amateur Insectologist