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Welcome to the next installment of Shit That Can Kill You
Friday's!
This week STCKYF features the California Newt.
We all know that California is one of the worst states in
the union thanks to high taxes and Birkenstocks. But did you know it is home to
a deadly newt? That's right, a newt. A small, slippery, dead eyed amphibian.
"Hey Charles, how does that newt kill things? With razor sharp claws? With
endless rows of teeth? With its horns?". Seriously? Do you even know what
a newt is? I mean come on, it literally has none of those things. The
California Newt is equipped with a extremely potent toxin, and it is not afraid
to use it.
The California Newt secretes a potent neurotoxin out of
glands in its skin, meaning it poisons via direct contact. The newt is not
constantly pumping the toxin out of its skin. The release of the toxin only
happens when the newt feels threatened. Kind of like how some people sweat when
they're nervous, except, you know, deadlier. The toxin in question is hundreds
of times more toxic than cyanide. Coincidentally it is the same toxin found in
pufferfish which was the first topic of STCKYF (which you can catch up on HERE).
The toxin is so deadly that this
little newt can kill pretty much anything, except for the humble garter snake
which is its most common predator. Giving the capacity for death and
destruction to a newt just proves the old adage, deadly things come in small
packages (you've heard people say that, right?). Voodoo scientists believe that
the newt gains its toxicity by consuming bacteria that synthesize tetrodotoxin
which then allows them to produce neurotoxins. Scientists also believe that
artificial sweeteners are safe, WMD's were in Iraq, and Anna Nicole married for
love. So you believe what you want.
The California Newt is
a "California Special Concern" species meaning its population is
threatened thanks to non-native species like the mosquitofish and the red swamp
crayfish. But don't worry friends, the newt will soon be back on its feet going
to drum circles, buying another pair of toms at a farmers market and
drinking kombucha (or whatever the hell goes on in California) thanks to
conservation efforts a.k.a. government safety nets for wildlife. I personally
wouldn't save these newts. It's like the story of the frog and the scorpion
where the scorpion kills the frog who agreed to help him because "it is
his nature". These newts are killers who shouldn't be trusted (a sentence
I never thought I'd say).
Stay safe out there.
--
Charles
R Mercer
Amateur Herpetologist
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